Bring Back Time-Out
Time-out is one of the most effective, yet most misunderstood, strategy available to caregivers of young children navigating self-control challenges.
The use of time-out as a discipline strategy has been under fire since 2014 when a prominent psychiatrist was misquoted in Time Magazine as likening the use of time-out to child abuse. Even though the psychiatrist later clarified his position on time-out, where he acknowledged that “Research supports the efficacy of time-outs when executed correctly,” misleading information about time-out has gained momentum. Opponents of time-out have perpetuated an unnecessary polarization of parenting approaches, diverting families in distress from accessing some of the best evidence-based strategies to treat disruptive child behavior.
To be fair, it’s not easy to find clear information geared to caregivers about the rationale for time-out and how to implement this effective discipline strategy. Most books on the topic are geared for professionals, not parents. Support for time-out is detailed on the Center for Disease Control website, but few caregivers think to seek discipline advice from the CDC. Social media, despite being known for its rampant misinformation, offers readily available content for those in search of answers to parenting conundrums.
The argument against time-out is that it causes the child to feel banished and isolated at a time when the caregiver should be offering “co-regulation.” The fear is that the use of time-out will hurt the child’s attachment security. However, there is no evidence to support this characterization of time-out, or that attempts to “co-regulate” a child who is being disruptive will improve the child’s emotional development.
Time-out was never intended as a stand-alone tool.
Rather, time-out is just one component of Parent Training interventions, which emphasize various strategies to improve the caregiver-child relationship and reduce disruptive behaviors. Disruptive behaviors can take the shape of noncompliance, outright defiance, aggression, and destructive behavior. Parent Training is endorsed by national mental health and professional organizations as the first line treatment for disruptive child behavior. **
Most Parent Training programs target problem behaviors of children ages 3 to 8 years old. Parent-Training concepts can be extended into the teen years, but alternatives to time-out are indicated for older children and teens.
Although time-out is just one of many strategies offered by Parent Training, a meta-analysis of 77 parent training interventions showed that time-out is associated with the most robust positive child outcomes (Kaminski et al., 2008).
Many caregivers feel at a loss when their child actively defies them or acts aggressively. Caregivers may be under the impression that children should be offered a “time-in” when engaging in dysregulated behaviors. Confusion about the meaning of time-in parallels the myths about time-out. Time-in is a concept that was originally introduced by the evidence-based Parent Training programs. Time-in is what’s happening when the child is not in time-out.
Time-in reflects the idea that a child’s day-to-day life should be rich with positive family interactions.
However, the concept of time-in has been misunderstood to mean that caregivers should increase engagement with a child who is acting out disruptively. This take on time-in reflects a counterproductive strategy. It’s not uncommon for this enactment of time-in to result in escalating aggressive behavior by the child and inadvertent reinforcement of problem behavior. This is not to say that children should not be soothed when upset. Time-out is a technique to address disruptive behavior, not as a response to a child who is hurt, anxious, or otherwise distressed.
Time-out is a discipline strategy that works to preserve the attachment relationship and fosters self-control within children. It is a behavioral technique that minimizes the chances that a child’s misbehavior will be reinforced.
Time-out refers to time-out from reinforcers in the environment.
Time-out has been shown to reduce child noncompliance, aggression, and emotion dysregulation. A recent review article about time-out stated:
… “discipline is about a brief predictable response to a specific problem behavior; it is not about isolating and abandoning a child. It effectively says, for example, ‘You are loved, you are my child, you are safe, this is not about you or us, it is just about this instance of aggression.’” (Dadds & Tully, 2019).
Time out protocols do not involve sending children straight to their room to be alone. They also do not need to involve a “minute for each year of age” rule. Time-outs work best when they are brief, usually no longer than three minutes. For very young children, even less than one minute can be effective. Typically, the parent remains in view of the child.
Time-outs DO NOT involve:
Yelling, criticizing, banishing, shaming, frightening, forced apologies, thinking about misbehavior.
Time-out protocols DO involve:
Play-based ways of teaching the child what to expect from time out.
Calm, predictable parental response to child aggression or defiance.
An opportunity for the parent to stay regulated.
An opportunity for the child to self-regulate.
A key detail to the success of time out is that the child is quiet for about three seconds before the time out can end. Otherwise, the child may learn that acting out results in successful escape.
Most parents voice the concern, “My child will never go to / stay in time out.” Thankfully, time-out protocols offer a road map for how to teach children to comply with time-outs. The pre-teaching phase is incredibly important to reducing drama around time-out, and there are additional strategies to employ that help motivate children to comply with time-out. If your child has a spirited temperament, it can be helpful to work with a professional who is highly skilled in the nuances of parent training and time out implementation.
Left untreated, disruptive behavior is associated with long term mental health issues, such as anxiety, depression, suicidality, and substance abuse. We need to promote accurate, evidence-based strategies that are known to reroute this vulnerable developmental trajectory. It cannot be emphasized enough that time-out should never be used as a stand-alone tool. Its effectiveness lies in its use as just one strategy among a broader set of approaches to improve child behavior and family relationships.
References:
**Substance Abuse and Mental Health Administration, American Psychological Association, Division 53 - Society of Clinical Child and Adolescent Psychology, American Academy of Pediatrics, and the Center for Disease Control.
Dadds, M. & Tully, L. (2019) What Is It to Discipline a Child: What Should It Be? A Reanalysis of Time-Out From the Perspective of Child Mental Health, Attachment, and Trauma, American Psychologist, 74 (7), 794-808.
Kaminski, J.W., Valle, L.A., Filene, J.H., & Boyle, C.L. (2008). A meta-analytic review of components associated with parent training program effectiveness. Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology, 26 (4), 567-89.
Additional Reading:
Forehand, R., Jones, D., & Nicholas Long, N (2023). Parenting the Strong-Willed Child: The Clinically Proven Five-Week Program for Parents of Two- to Six-Year-Olds, Expanded Fourth Edition, (2023). McGraw Hill.
Lieneman, C.C.. & McNeil, C.B. (2023). Time-Out in Child Behavior Management. Hogrefe Publishing.
