Help! I can’t find a therapist for my kid.
We are hearing that even after contacting dozens of providers, parents are hitting walls when it comes to finding a therapist for their child or teen. It’s not uncommon for parents to feel a sense of desperation and despair about how to help their child.
We encourage you to consider parent consultation as an alternative to direct services for your child. Even in situations where a child or teen would truly benefit from working with a therapist, there are good reasons to seek parent consultation:
1. By boosting parenting skills, families are likely to see a bigger impact for their child compared to what is achieved through only individual child or teen sessions. Therapists typically see a child for only 45 minutes a week. In contrast, parents spend countless hours with their child. Parents can easily underestimate how impactful small changes in their behavior can be for their child. Even a one degree shift at the parent level can create a sea change for the child or teen.
2. Most children are not developmentally ready to make use of individual therapy until the mid- to late- teen years. We find that teens ages 15 to 16 and older are much better able to engage in therapy compared to younger teens and kids. There are exceptions to this, of course. Also, children who are dealing with significant anxiety and avoidance or self-harm may need to work directly with a therapist. Still though - parents should consider learning skills to help their child as opposed to throwing up their hands in despair at not finding a provider for their child or teen.
3. Children and teens who are struggling are likely to benefit when their parents learn advanced caregiving skills. A big part of what therapists offer is a safe space to process feelings and experiences. Therapists are expert at validating emotions and helping their clients develop internal state language - a key skill when it comes to emotion regulation. Why not empower parents to learn advanced validation and emotion coaching skills? Parents are likely to have way more impact than a weekly session with a therapist. You might say, “I already do all of this!” However, we have found that even the most tuned in parents can benefit from learning advanced skills around discipline, emotions, communication, boundaries, and navigating conflict.
4. There are evidence-based strategies for many child problems, including acting-out behavior and anxiety, that do not involve seeing the child. With a little parenting guidance, parents are often surprised by how much more impactful they are in supporting their child or teen.
We really do encourage you to consider parent consultation over feeling helpless while you wait for months and months on waitlists for your child or teen to be seen.