Fun Fact: Self-regulation develops rapidly during the preschool years. Self-regulation gains during these years are more dramatic than any other phase. This means that the preschool years are a sensitive period, when our efforts can go a long way during this time. Emotion management. self-control, task persistence, and goal-directed behavior. Executive functions fall under this umbrella of self-regulation. Core executive functions include impulse control, cognitive flexibility, and attention regulation. Biology and genetics influence self-regulation. But the environment has a big impact as well. We can make a positive difference during the sensitive preschool years.

Prioritize Positive Affect Between Carers and Children

Shared positive affect is key to the development of self-regulation. Positive parent-child interactions are internalized by the child in important ways. The child develops the sense that their needs are important and will be met by their attuned caretaker. Children are better able to regulate themselves in the context of a parent child relationship that is rich with play and laughter. Children who have fun with their parents are more motivated to cooperate with day-to-day routines. This harmony lays the foundation for children to advance in their self-regulation.

Experiences of parental anger or criticism dysregulate the child. Children who face parental anger are more likely to struggle with regulating their emotions. These children are more likely to grapple with aggression, defiance, anxiety, and mood problems.

Have Limits and Rules

Consistent limit-setting is linked to better self-regulation in children. Chaotic discipline or permissive parenting is not. Children without clear limits may have issues with impulse-control and emotion dysregulation. We need to teach young children clear rules. Children who encounter limits are less likely to persist with disruptive behavior.

Avoid Screens

Studies show that screen use in the preschool years is common, where the majority of 4-year olds have their own tablet. It’s common for parents to use screens as a way of calming their children’s behavior. A recent study set out to discover how the use of screens in the preschool years impacts emotional development. Not surprisingly, children with more challenging behavior used screens more often. However, access to screens for 3-year olds predicted more anger and frustration one year later. The study occurred during the pandemic lockdowns, when families were under considerable stress. The authors concluded that families may find themselves in a negative cycle. The more screens are used, the more the child struggles with anger. In this cycle, the child’s challenges might result in more screen access as a way of managing the problems. The increased screen time in turn may perpetuate the dysregulated behavior.

*Early-Childhood Tablet Use and Outbursts of Anger, Journal of the American Medical Association (October, 2024)

Attend to Parental Mental Health

Children do better when their parents are doing well. Untreated depression and anxiety in parents impact children’s emotion regulation. Children learn to self-regulate by having parents who are sensitive to their needs. Research that shows depression makes it harder for parents to tune into children's emotional needs.

Conversely, having a child with challenging behaviors can lead to depression in parents. Parents are also more susceptible to depression when children are aged five and under. As rewarding as parenting can be, it’s also common to struggle. Many parents’ moods are impacted by the day-to-day drudgery. They may feel a loss of autonomy that comes with having young children. Parents may their own needs on the back burner, when getting support for their own mental health should be a priority.

Identify Neurodevelopmental Issues Early

We discourage the “wait and see” approach. We can identify preschoolers who are at-risk for future problems with self-regulation. For example, preschoolers who show dysregulated tantrums are at a seven fold risk of later mental health difficulties. We can reduce this risk by intervening early. Early intervention involves working with parents on strategies to support self-regulation. It may also involve new ways to support the child in the preschool setting.

Not all self-regulation challenges are rooted in neurodevelopmental issues. However, many children with neurodevelopmental issues will struggle with self-regulation. ADHD, autism, premature birth, and language disorders are linked to challenges in self-regulation. We can often identify when these factors are present in preschool children. Through early identification, we can pave the way to access needed services. Early identification also helps parents to understand how to best support their child during the sensitive preschool period.

Parent Coaching at Child and Teen Solutions (CATS) Can Help

Our position is that parents and caregivers have the most influence on their child’s development. At CATS, we also offer highly tailored services for parents who are seeking to support their child’s self-regulation. We support families who need help in climbing out of crisis related to their child’s behavior. We also work with families who are simply looking to fine tune how to best support their child. Through parent coaching, we can assist families in improving the emotional climate at home and reduce stress. We also teach methods for effective limit setting and ways to increase positive parent-child emotions.

Neurodevelopmental Evaluations in Seattle, WA.

We specialize in the early identification of neurodevelopmental issues in preschoolers. Early identification helps young children to access services. It also helps families better understand how to better support their preschooler at home.

In addition to our work with preschoolers, we offer evaluations and therapy for individuals through college age.

The Development of Self-Regulation: The Preschool Years as a Sensitive Period